Edward as Itachi?
by CrazyBitchWithAKunai
Summary: Fic I had to write for school. Edward and Itachi switch bodies... What can go wrong?


**An/ *Peeks out from behind wall*... Yes, in fact, I do know this is not S.K.T. but I needed to do a fanfic for school so here it is...**

**Disclaimer: This is only the workings of a bored deranged teenager's mind... I claim no ownage of the awesomeness that is narutoXtwilight crossover.**

Sometimes two universes will bump into each other, just the barest nudge before spinning off and ignoring each other forever more. But during those brief moments things happen; unexplainable and confusing things. Sometimes they bring people together and sometimes they rip them horribly apart.

This happened to two remarkable men, nothing in common except the lack of pigment in their skin, and the unfortunate habit of being mobbed by random fangirls.

Itachi was lying in his bed waiting for his head to stop pounding. It had come up suddenly, but his headaches had been that way lately. His eyes had been acting up; he couldn't even see shapes anymore. Just indistinct blobs. There was an end of his pain in sight though. Soon the medic-nin, Sakura Haruno, would be in the Akatsuki's grasp and she would heal his eyes. Then the horrible pain would be over.

Edward was hunting with his family when he felt an insistent tugging in his mind. It felt like his brain was being forced out of the back of his skull. He staggered and almost collapsed. The vampire slumped against a tree and rubbed his eyes fiercely, trying to get up and tell his family. Before he could, however, his headache spiked and his body was left against the tree.

The universe containing Edward and his vampire buddies had gently bumped into the Naruto-verse, taking two souls and depositing them into two different bodies; allowing them to take only the memories they had and a few defining traits.

When Edward awoke he felt odd, like he'd been pressed, made 2-D. It was a peculiar feeling, only made stranger by the fact his body wanted sleep. This was something that hadn't happened since he'd turned from human to vampire and that had been over seventy years ago. Edward slowly opened his eyes and gasped...***I am SOOOO mean XD***

Itachi stayed still even when he had awoken, trying to gather all the information that he could. At the minute an argument was taking place, shrill voices ringing out only to be interrupted.

"I don't care if you never saw this! He's not moving, fix it!"

This voice was almost frantic, over him it seemed, as cool hands glided over his forehead.

"Listen Bells, I have no explanation why it seems Edward has returned to being human or why he won't wake up... when he does wake you can ask him."

"But he's not waking up!"

"Bella relax, I am positive he is fine. His body needs rest from becoming human again."

A snarl broke the quiet, "Wake him up! Aren't you the doctor?"

The male voice sighed in frustration, "Jacob, you might as well come out instead of listening at doorways."

Itachi listened as a new arrival showed up, demanding answers and replaying the same argument that had just ended. He decided it would be best to 'wake up' and ask the strangers where he was, using his sharigan if necessary.

He fluttered his eyes open convincingly, allowing them to stay sleepy and half closed; blinking a few times. ***Wonder how I knew that huh?***

A brunette anxiously ran over to him, concern clearly visible in her strange gold eyes.

"Edward! Are you ok? What happened?" The voice was the same as the one that was yelling at the doctor.

Itachi faked a groan, "Where am I? Who are you guys?"

A tan teenager, who liked either liked showing off his abs or hated shirts, (**we don't really care or know**) spoke up.

"Back to the world of the living, are we leech?" He was glaring at Itachi for no reason.

Itachi noted his disrespect for later, and just looked at him confusedly. "What do you guys mean?"

The first voice made itself known. "Guys back off, I think he might have amnesia," he said as he glanced at the others in the room and then back at Itachi. "Your name is Edward, I'm Carlisle. Our family was hunting when you fainted on us. I'm the head of the family. This is Jacob and Bella. Anything you can tell us would be helpful."

Itachi sneered inwardly; Edward wasn't very strong to be fainting so suddenly. "No sir, I don't know anything. But could you tell me where I am?"

The man, Carlisle, was obvisoly disappointed. He sighed, ushering everyone but himself out so 'Edward' could get some rest. "You are in Forks, Washington."

Itachi didn't understand where he was but he filed away the information for later analysis. The questions continued for a while, until the doctor told him to just relax and try to remember anything.

As soon as they left him alone, the ninja focused his chakra ***This is the same thing as energy for those Naruto noobs (newbies) out there*** on himself, digging through his mind until he came across an abnormality, something he'd never noticed in all his hours of meditating. He focused his energy a bit more and the wavering image settled on a door. He opened it a saw a long hallway stretching in front of him.

There was another door at the end of the black and grey hallway. He pushed it open and Itachi felt another being in his original body.

In front of Edward was a huge blue... man? The creature in front of him was rather shark-like in appearance; including sharp teeth, beady black eyes and gill like markings under said eyes. He also had gray-blue hair sticking straight up. It did not help to relax Edward that he had a huge wrapped sword strapped to his back.

The vampire recoiled as the shark threw his cloak on the couch, showing his (still blue) muscular arms. From time to time Edward had thought being a vampire made him a monster, an abnormality of nature. This man proved him wrong. Here was a monster, and there was an air of viciousness around him. There was an air of danger about him; like he wasn't quite civilized, like he was savage.

Edward had no sooner thought this then a voice sounded in his own head, "That's ridiculous! Kisame is nothing more than a giant blue teddy bear." *That's for you nii-chan!*

Edward recoiled from the man staring at him, backing into the corner of the bed as the shark stepped into the room.

Kisame had noticed Itachi's chakra disappear and someone else's come into his fellow Akatsuki's body. He wasn't a very good ninja, whoever he was; he didn't act like Itachi at all.

He stepped across the room and flicked out his sword to the Itachi-imposter's throat.

"You have exactly three seconds to tell me who you are, why you are here, where Itachi is and who sent you before I really scare you." All this was said in a creepily pleasant voice while a sinister grin underlined the last part.

Edward tried to move back but the sword followed his movements.

"I'm Edward Cullen. I don't know why I am here. I have no clue who Itachi is, and no one sent me."

Kisame grinned, so he wasn't up to telling the truth, yet.

"Come on kid, just tell me the truth and I won't hurt you, too horribly."

Edward furrowed his brow, "I'm not a kid!"

Kisame rolled his eyes, "Well, you are in Itachi's body. You aren't Itachi so that leads me to believe that you hurt him. Now, I personally don't care but Leader-sama thinks Itachi is really important so I need to get him back. How I do that is up to you, painfully or not." 

Edward stared down at the sword, dangerously close to his Adam's apple and shifted. "If I could get out of here I would. You really freak me out."

Kisame sighed "Come on, if you got in his body you can get out."

Edward began to get angry. "I told you, I have no clue how I got here!" Naturally his lips curled back, exposing his manga-tized fangs. ***Sorry couldn't resist XD!*** His muscles also tightened, preparing to fight the thing in front of him.

Itachi was quietly laughing at the situation the body-stealer was in. If the body-stealer had his body, at least he had to deal with Kisame. He decided not to interfere right away; he wanted to see if the kid got his foolish head smacked.

Itachi felt Edward becoming angry. It would be useless to talk to him now, plus it was sapping his strength too quickly to stay now.

He swiftly found the doorway and slipped through just as Edward launched his body at Kisame. The door clicked with an ominous thud.

Edward was only dimly aware of the other leaving; he was too busy marveling at the way this body responded to his every command. Unlike his own muscles (gained in a transformation), these were trained from an early age and were as strong as or stronger than his own.

While he was thinking this, he was trying to bring fish face (as he had nicknamed Kisame) down, but those muscles were his undoing. He was not used to going so fast and Kisame spotted an opening and brought Edward crashing to the floor; planting a heavy foot on his chest to keep the angry teen from moving.

"Take it easy kiddo. You are obviously not from around here. If you don't try to kill me I'll let you up. Sound fair?" ***Mood swings much?***

Edward remained in stony silence, annoyed at being labeled a kid, glaring at the foot on his chest. After a few minutes he muttered a pensive, "Fine, I give." and Kisame grabbed his arm and set him properly on his feet.

When Itachi got back he wasn't alone. The boy from earlier was there and was glaring at him.

"Listen, I don't care if you retransforming into a human being messes with your smell; you aren't Edward. I am the only one who didn't believe your story about memory loss but I will convince the others, make no mistake about that."

With that speech, the teen turned on his heel and left, not allowing Itachi to speak. Itachi just glanced at the ceiling and enjoyed his tempory eyesight.

When Itachi had walked the hallway, he had created a bridge and linked the two worlds. There was a way for each of them to get home but they must do it quickly or the other's memories would slowly take the place of their own. But it may be equally difficult to get to their true forms; for they must fight each other and neither lose nor win for the bridge to be fully closed forever.

After meeting the rest of the family, Itachi tried contacting Edward again. He needed to get back before his reputation was completely ruined by the hothead.

After getting back into his own head, he had to wake up Edward, who wasn't happy.

"What are you waking me up for! And who are you?" he demanded when Itachi finally woke him up. Itachi stayed calm, "We need to get back to our own bodies. My name is Itachi."

"And I suppose you have a brilliant idea?" Edward's voice was dripping with equal parts of venom and sarcasm.

"Yes."

Edward muttered about not understanding sarcasm and stupid smart people, but he focused within himself and found his way to the door. Itachi calmly led the way back to Edwards's body. Telling the vampire to stay, Itachi walked back to his own body.

It seemed to be working until Itachi reached a room in the center of the hallway. Then it seemed like he was on fire and he couldn't think around it. When he took a step back towards Edward's body, the pain stopped instantly. He looked up and saw Edward being lead back in the same manner.

"Why can't I stay in my body or control it!" the hotheaded vampire glared accusingly at Itachi, as if this had been all his idea.

"We are needed here apparently."

"No, I thought we were just hanging out here, maybe we should go shopping!" Edward had gotten quite close to Itachi's face, screaming in his anger and pain. Itachi normally was very level headed, but there were two things he couldn't stand, disrespect and excessive sarcasm. Those two things had him shifting subtly into a fighting stance, sliding a kunai into his hand.

Edward also got ready for a fight, slightly stretching. They circled each other, both trying to get the other to make the first move. Edward took the bait first, leaping and lunging for Itachi. Itachi, however, calmly sidestepped him and shoved Edward to the ground.

Edward got right back up and glared at the impassive male behind him. Itachi waited for Edward to get up before he attacked. He wouldn't attack anyone if they were down.

Neither male could beat the other and when their energy was almost gone, it was Itachi who stopped their fighting.

"That's enough Edward. Any longer and we won't be able to get back to our temporary bodies."

Although Edward was seriously beginning to dislike the ninja in front of him; he had to agree, they both were tired.

He walked over to the door leading to Itachi's body. It opened smoothly and he didn't experience any pain walking away from the strange room.

Before retreating, Itachi looked around the room; trying to see if there was anything that would help them get back to their own bodies.

Eventually he found a riddle.

_If you must go home, tarry not,_

_Unlucky you who drew this lot._

_The way out is closer then you think,_

_It is in your own body, not this link._

_In this room it must be done,_

_Though the decision isn't very fun._

_Both are strong, barley lost,_

_Here we will increase the cost._

_You may not win, you may not lose,_

_How this is to be done you may chose._

_We leave you with a final warning,_

_This should be done by the morning._

It was only five in the afternoon, but Itachi went and told Edward the poem any way.

After that Itachi went to find that boy from earlier, the one who saw right through his act. He found the teen lounging by the river.

"Save it," he said as Itachi approached, "I know you aren't who say you are."

Itachi paused.

"I know, I need your help to get Edward back." Itachi told Jacob all of the facts that he knew about the body switching and Jacob was just as stumped as he was.

"I have no clue what that means, how can you neither win nor lose?"

Itachi was thinking along the same lines. His life had always been a win/lose situation. He always came out on top. How could that change?

Edward was having better luck with Kisame. The shark had an idea. It was an unpleasant idea but it might work. "So you guys are basically just energy, right?" he asked. Edward nodded. "Can you change form?"

That caused Edward to pause, "I'm not sure. Hang on, I'll try it out."

Edward retreated into the hallway then made a conscious effort not to be solid; he felt as though his body was turning to dust and he was weightless.

Edward experimented for a while, changing from a wolf to a bird to a random apple. This was extremely cool but Edward didn't know how this could help him get back to his wife and daughter. With his remaining energy he walked out the door and opened his eyes.

Kisame grinned, "I take it that it works."

Edward glanced out the window, it was past midnight. He needed to get to Itachi, fast. Before he could run and get Itachi, Kisame spoke up.

"Hey! At least let me explain my awesome plan to you. Geesh, if I weren't sure I'd say you were trying to run out on me."

Edward wasn't amused. He directed a glare at the blue skinned man who just laughed.

"Alright, alright, don't give yourself a heart attack. What I think you need to do is become a mist and briefly share your memories and everything. Then you can go to your body and Itachi can come back here."

Apparently Edward's disgust showed plainly on his face because Kisame's smirk grew. "Unless you would like to be the only evil ninja-vampire here and stuck in the wrong body to boot, I think this is the only way to do that."

"I could bite you..."

"Not cool! I'm o.k. being a mutant shark, but a mutant shark-vampire? No way!"

Edward's stomach rumbled and Kisame suddenly began looking like a delicious fish stick. Edward's fangs slid into place and he had to blink hard to remember 'fish are friends, not food'. ***Sorry could not resist! I'm still laughing, and my family is looking at me like I'm crazy. XD!***

"Umm, Kisame? I need to hunt, right now."

Jacobs's idea was even more laughable.

"What about monopoly?"

Itachi's eyebrow rose. "Monopoly?"

Jacob grinned, "Sure, why not? It's not exactly fun, there is no way you can win and I have never met anyone who lost."

Itachi thought it out. Sure, it was unorthodox but maybe it would work, maybe.

"I need to talk to Edward. Thank you for your 'original' idea."

Jacob knew just what 'original' meant. "You mean slightly insane? Oh, and no problem, Bella would destroy me if she found out I didn't help her get her man, Edward, back."

Itachi remembered how she had been yelling at Carlisle when he had been faking sleep and shuddered.

"Good-bye Jacob. Hopefully we will never see each other again."

Jacob ignored formality in his good-bye, "Peace out, dude."

They met in the big room, an hour before morning.

The silence was brief, "What's your plan Itachi?"

"Monopoly."

Edward gave a short, harsh laugh. "Did Jacob get to you with the Monopoly idea?"

Itachi didn't like being teased; he quickly put the heat back on Edward.

"What's your brilliant idea then?" Itachi was gratified to see Edward shift awkwardly.

"Let's save that for a last resort. Where's the board?"

Itachi manipulated a small amount of chakra, making an awesome black and red monopoly board. Edward quickly claimed the car. In response to Itachi's raised eyebrow, he became instantly defensive. "Hey, it's a Ferrari!"

Itachi rolled his eyes and picked up the weasel figurine. Yes, he gets the humor; no, he does not think it is funny. ***But I do!*(Itachi =Weasel)**

A few minutes later, Edward made history. He lost at Monopoly. He epically lost at Monopoly.

Itachi was stunned. How can you lose at that game? But Edward managed it somehow.

Itachi didn't comment, which Edward was grateful for.

"Alright I guess it's my turn..."

Itachi waited. But when no answer was forthcoming he had to prompt the vampire with a, "Well...?"

Edward sighed, "This isn't my idea, but we turn into mist or fog and then mingle together. Apparently, we need to share all of our memories and all of our experiences at once, and then we try to get back to our own bodies. But we can't separate until we are almost out of the door."

Itachi nodded, but he understood Edward's hesitation. He was trained to keep his distance from others. He was an Uchiha, after all. Then there was his natural anti-social demeanor; all in all, this would be his worst nightmare.

He glanced over at Edward, who was half-way turned to mist. Itachi swiftly concentrated and let himself become the insubstantial, transparent mist.

They met in the middle of the room, like two wolves from different packs meeting for the first time. It was a curious sensation, knowing all Itachi knew but not really remembering it.

At the same time he felt Itachi doing the same. It was as though Edward were two different people but was still himself at the same time. There was no way he could describe it, but he knew everything about Itachi; his clan, the Akatsuki, everything.

Itachi knew Edward's idea worked when the ceiling rumbled. They started to move towards home. When he swung the door open, the middle of the ceiling fell, starting a chain reaction.

Itachi and Edward made a break for it, barely outrunning the falling ceiling and floor. They simultaneously threw themselves to the bottom of their minds, eyes closing as the two universes spun away. The hallway that bound them was broken.

Edward was leaning against the tree when he came to. It looked like nothing happened. It might have been a bad dream but for the two lines etched on either side of his face, looking very much like a certain weasel...

Edward let out an excited whoop of laughter and ran to his family.

Itachi's head didn't hurt when he woke up. In fact, when he opened his eyes, his vision was restored. All his ninja training wasn't able to keep his jaw shut, showing off a very fine set of fangs.

**AN/ The end! ^.^ Was horrible to write, snapped at my family WAY too much when the writers-block fairy hit me... Don't like her too much.**

**I'm going to write S.K.T. ASAP alright?**

**Reviews get me an A! I love a vamp-Itachi! He is way too cute, fangirls shall get him. Lol. **

**Ok... bye byes**.


End file.
